Giving Love A Chance Part 2

I guess I should have been sharper when I wrote the last blog and knew it was not finished when I emailed it.

If you have not read it, please feel free to go back to it at:

http://networkedblogs.com/iGZ4c

My attempt was to offer an alternative to the wanton violence both physically and mentally our society seems to glorify. I also wanted to put the previous two quotes in front of us so we might give them more than a passing thought:

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction.... The chain reaction of evil -- hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation”. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Strength To Love, 1963

“When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.” Jimi Hendrix

So love is more than a noun, is in fact a verb, a word of action. I recognized from reading the particular writing again there are some actions which love is clearly not. We must see the two actions together and as one set of behaviors that have the potential to change not only our individual lives, but also the community where we live and the world of which we are a part. Hence part 2…

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 New International Versions)

1) Love does not envy: When one lives in a capitalistic society it is hard not to be influenced by the expression, “the one who dies with the most toys wins.” We measure our success or failure by comparing ourselves to what others have or don’t have. Sometimes it will even get to the point of resenting others for having something we want but don’t have. Even worse for the person of faith, we sometimes reach a point of resenting God for what others have. Envy makes a statement of being more concerned about the well being of self rather than the well being of others.

2) Love does not boast: To boast is to lose perspective of one’s self. Bragging happens when we think we have accomplished something unique. Bragging often is about what we have accomplished on our own. After 25 years of ministry I can report we do not accomplish anything unique, as nothing is really new but rather simply tried or approached in a different way. Most, if not all of our accomplishments come about because of several experiences and complicated factors…even though a snowflake is unique, it takes hundreds of thousands to make a beautiful snowfall.

3) Love is not proud (some translations have the phrase “does not puff itself up”) Being too proud or puffing one's self up occurs when one looks down upon the homeless, the poor, the uneducated, or people of a different culture, with the attitude of “thank God I am not them”. The whole political argument around “American exceptionalism” while hundreds of thousands of people die from starvation, lack of medical care, clean water or our military drones, indicates we may have become a little puffy!

4) Love does not dishonor others (some translations have the phrase “behave rudely”): Rude by definition of Merriam-Webster is, “offensively impolite or ill-mannered: "she had been rude to her boss". This has the action of dishonoring the person to whom it is directed. Speaking truth can always be done without dishonoring or being ill mannered.

5) Love is not self-seeking (some translations have the phrase “seek its own advantage”) The action of love focuses on responsibilities rather than privileges. I wonder what happens to white privilege, sexism, homophobia to name just a few, if love is the operative word in one's life.

6) Love it is not easily angered (some translations use the phrase “lose its temper”): Being angry about something or another is one thing, but being pushed there easily or to lose one’s temper (i.e. control) is to make other peoples' lives miserable…think how damaging it has been to you when someone has just lost all control and started screaming…out of control anger is anything but love.

7) Love keeps no record of wrongs: In any conversation around love, the key is always about forgiveness. In order to not keep score one has to forgive and let go. I use to marvel at my mother-in-law who, during any disagreement, could bring up an endless list of things you had done wrong… a little forgetfulness might have ushered in some family peace at times.

8) Love does not delight in evil: Evil by any definition is that which causes harm, misfortune, or destruction. I think this is pretty self explanatory, don’t you? We need look no further than the sick and twisted logic of Eric Rudolph’s own words to give clarity to the definition. For those who don’t recognize the name, he was the one who set off bombs in Atlanta during the Olympics and also bombed medical clinics and a gay bar, killing one and injuring scores of others.


“Along with abortion, another assault upon the integrity of American society is the concerted effort to legitimize the practice of homosexuality. …But when the attempt is made to drag this practice out of the closet and into the public square in an "in your face" attempt to force society to accept and recognize this behavior as being just as legitimate and normal as the natural man/woman relationship, every effort should be made, including force if necessary, to halt this effort.

This effort is commonly known as the homosexual agenda. Whether it is gay marriage, homosexual adoption, hate crimes laws including gays, or the attempt to introduce a homosexual normalizing curriculum into our schools, all of these efforts should be ruthlessly opposed.”

So when we combine these two blogs it seems we have a viable alternative to the way things play out in today’s world. Yet the challenge remains with the whole concept of love. It is not that it is too difficult to understand; quite the opposite, it is too easy to know exactly what is being asked of us. The problem is being willing to do it.

Maybe this why the only command Jesus ever gave his followers was: "Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another” John 13:34(The Message)

Isn’t about time to give love a chance?

Giving Love A Chance

A blog or 2 back I wrote and published a piece entitled “Forgive Me if I Don’t Raise a Toast”.

This was in response to all the over the top partying and Super Bowl like mentality of the killing of Bin-Laden.

My observation of the art of blog writing is one never knows where or what is in the mind
of someone who makes a comment. Some blogs get a lot of response and others get a
sum total of zero.

This particular blog got exactly one comment from a reader who read it at “The GA Voice”. The comment said; “You ask me to "forgive you".... sorry, I refuse. He got much less than what he deserved. I wish they could kill him once for each life he took.”

While readers are certainly entitled to their opinion and when one allows for a blog such as mine to be published, it is expected that some strong opinions will be expressed.

However, this one stopped me in my tracks and has been playing on my mind all this time.

First of all I am not sure if this person thinks of himself or herself as a Christian or a
person of faith but if they are then the refusal of forgiveness for a different outlook on the
subject hits me as terribly sad. Especially since one of the main themes of Christianity is
forgiveness as well as most other major faiths.

I am also pretty sure if one does the body count of people who have been killed by the
United States in the hunt for Bin-Laden it most assuredly surpasses each life lost on that
awful day of 9-11.

The anger and absolute hate expressed in the comment is bone chilling. Am I surprised by the response? No. This is the world we live in, where an eye for an eye is the reality. Yet my point then and now is that it can and should be different. We cannot keep doing what we are doing and expect to survive much less live in peace and security.

Let me remind the reader of two quotes from the previous blog:

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction.... The chain reaction of evil -- hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation”. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Strength To Love, 1963

“When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.” Jimi Hendrix

I guess this where I am going to go from “preaching to meddling”.

If we are going to call ourselves Christian or at minimum an ethical and moral people, then we owe to ourselves, our friends and our families to consider that we need another
starting point.

Love is not something one just reads and feels. A rather well known Christian writer says,

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 New International Versions)

Love then is something one does. The problem with this passage and the whole concept
of love is not that it is too difficult to understand; quite the opposite, it is too easy to
know exactly what is being asked of us. The problem is being willing to do it.

If we were far more intentionally doing what this passage states it would revolutionize our
relationships in our homes, our churches or places of faith and in society as a whole.

Fifteen verbs reveal what makes this a tangible concept and not some pie in the sky
philosophy. We can see what love does and does not do. Hell, if we just become
intentional about the seven “do’s” the world would be a better, safer place.

1) Love is patient. How does this description translate into actions? Our church had a full-blown drunk showing up to service every week for three years. He was loud and rude. Offers of help were ignored. Yet the congregation continued to love him, hug him, feed him and let him know “it gets better”. The patience of the congregation paid off when 6 months ago Stanley had his last drink and he has said over and over again this
congregation saved his life.

2) Love is kind. There was once a person from my early ministry days who decided I was a heretic. They were very intentional in trying to get me fired from the church. They explained to me their actions were motivated by a love for me. Needless to say most of us hope we never had a “friend” like that. Love acts kindly; it does not work for the detriment of another. Acts of kindness come from recognizing a need of someone and
attempting to meet the need without strings attached.

3) Love rejoices with the truth. Ever notice that most arguments have little to do with veracity and more to do with winning? It has been said quite accurately there are three sides to every story: your side, my side and the truth. As a people of faith we owe it to ourselves to seek the action of that third side…the truth. It is not always easy to get at because it means we must really listen and respond rather than hear and re-act.

4) Love always protects (some translations say “bears all things”). No insult or betrayal should sidetrack love from the pursuit of its end. The prophet Hosea of the Old Testament pictures God as faithful to Israel but Israel turned to other loves. In the story God asks rhetorically if God should just let Assyria rule over Israel. Then God answers God's own question: “How can I give up on Ephraim?” The heart of God for the person of
faith is where we learn to love and continue loving despite rejection, trouble and heartache. One has to wonder what might have happen to Stanley had love only been a concept and not an action.

5) Love always trusts. Love creates a climate of trust. There are people who are very suspicious because they have never had the opportunity to trust or be trusted. A climate of trust is put into place when people say what they mean and mean what they say. Some would say it is “walking the talk”.

6) Love always hopes. For the Christian the very fabric of the faith says separation from God, death and evil have no real or lasting power. It follows then we as a people know that separation from God, death and evil of an individual can be transformed by a life-altering encounter with God. For the Christian this translates to understanding in our soul who and what Jesus taught, lived and died for. For me personally the real power of what is called the “Gospel” is the good news of a second chance, a third chance or as Jesus once said seventy times seven. Therefore even in depravity there is hope.

7) Love always perseveres (in some translations the verb here is “endures”). The verb means to conquer. Jesus' entire ministry was based on this concept. When the disciples didn't get it, he didn't give up he persevered. When the religious leaders didn't get it, he didn't give up he persevered. When he was denied, betrayed, arrested and sentenced to death he didn't give up he persevered. The love he taught and lived carried all the through to his last breath from the cross.

So here is my challenge to the readers of the blog. Since the way of the world has not been terribly successful, since the whole eye for an eye thing has not been all that…let's give love a try.

If that won’t work or seems to radical how about this: Rev. Richard J. Fairchild in a sermon he delivered a few years back had this advice, “In the wonderful little book called "Pocketful of Miracles", which is a daily devotional and spiritual growth guide, the author (Joan Borysenko), writes:

Shakespeare said, "Pretend a virtue if you have it not". Most of us are still locked up in the petty, self-centered concerns of our egos. Nonetheless we feel the ancient longing of our soul to move beyond ego to union with the divine. It doesn't matter if our motivation for Divine Union falters, or if selfish concerns predominate. If we just pretend the virtue of longing for God and being of service to others, eventually those virtues will arise spontaneously.”